Sensation play for erotic joy

I like the term "sensation play" and the ability to instill erotic joy in a relationship. What is sensation play? Likely, you've heard about BDSM. It really is about having your partner feel different sensations. Married couples may think, "I could never involve my spouse in bdsm" even in a fun way. I had thought that for years with my wife. BDSM may seem too intense or degrading. So erase it from your mind and instead consider it as giving your partner surprises and sensations that he or she would otherwise not experience. 

Spanking is one of the sensations I now use with my wife and I've increased the intensity of them. She can take a pretty good spanking which is fun to give and fun to see her cute bottom turn slightly red. 

A blindfold is another way to give surprises and sensations. Buy a silk scarf from a department store or a blindfold from a drugstore outlet. The cost is quite affordable. Once your partner is wearing a blindfold and can't see, they need to know they can trust you. Using massage oil on them is another way to give a pleasant sensation.

Monday night we had the house to ourselves and though we had some calls to make we decided to have sex. While I got out the toys, I wound up not using any. Instead a few spanks, licking and massage oil did just fine. Sensations we produced were powerful and resulted in an orgasmic great time. I'll do some more postings on sensation play for erotic joy.

Writing romance: my first story getting published

Writing romance for me is nothing new. Usually I kept it to myself or in the form of intimate letters to my wife. My first erotic story will be published by Breathless Press. I'll keep you up to date. The situation has to do with the choices a woman makes while stuck at O'Hare International Airport. Talk about a sexy setting! Not really, which made it fun to write!

I'm also finishing my first erotic romance novel. I've been re-writing one of the chapters and a publisher has asked for the first three chapters to review. I'm waiting for their response and hoping they'll request the complete manuscript.

What's great about writing romance, especially erotic romance, is creating a sense of anticipation between the characters and trying to keep the tensions and emotions honest and compelling so the reader wants to turn the pages.

I believe the eroticism lies in the details. Stay tuned!

Kissing - or almost kissing - and erotic joy

Creating anticipation is one of the best ways of sparking erotic joy in a relationship. In a healthy relationship, there's no problem using a kiss - or an almost kiss - as a form of teasing to create the anticipation of a deep sexual experience later.

The thought came to me as I read a post by romance author Debra Kayn. She wrote about "almost kissing" with her husband and then walking away! Fortunately, sounds like they have a good relationship! Here's what Debra has to say about it:

"I love the moment right before a kiss more than the actual act. That sexual tension that builds between two people grabs me. Of course, that made me change the 10 second rule the next day, and I said that we have to get as close to kissing without actually kissing...and then walk away."

Read Debra's 10-second rule on kissing and learn more about her romance writing.

Think of the ways you can create anticipation in the next day or two: a soft brush of the lips, a touch on the bottom, a candle lit even if not trying to seduce your lover. There are many ways to create those moments that can lead to more intense passion later.