I like the term "sensation play" and the ability to instill erotic joy in a relationship. What is sensation play? Likely, you've heard about BDSM. It really is about having your partner feel different sensations. Married couples may think, "I could never involve my spouse in bdsm" even in a fun way. I had thought that for years with my wife. BDSM may seem too intense or degrading. So erase it from your mind and instead consider it as giving your partner surprises and sensations that he or she would otherwise not experience.
Spanking is one of the sensations I now use with my wife and I've increased the intensity of them. She can take a pretty good spanking which is fun to give and fun to see her cute bottom turn slightly red.
A blindfold is another way to give surprises and sensations. Buy a silk scarf from a department store or a blindfold from a drugstore outlet. The cost is quite affordable. Once your partner is wearing a blindfold and can't see, they need to know they can trust you. Using massage oil on them is another way to give a pleasant sensation.
Monday night we had the house to ourselves and though we had some calls to make we decided to have sex. While I got out the toys, I wound up not using any. Instead a few spanks, licking and massage oil did just fine. Sensations we produced were powerful and resulted in an orgasmic great time. I'll do some more postings on sensation play for erotic joy.